Dare to dream??

Well last night i had a strange dream..and i found myself transported to completely different place..the place i had literally never dreamt of in my wildest of dreams!..Gosh as ever i am trying to confuse you..but lemme tell u the truth..this was darned exciting..i found myself at a birthday bash.whose?? i have no idea! where?? i dunno!..and u dare not ask me how! i already told you that!..i closed my eyes and scuttled my way thorough the night to reach the unknown place...Nevertheless the dream sounded wasteful..but it did coax my imagination to a point.What the hell inspired such a dream..Afterall i hadn't been thinking of attending one the whole day.infact i have not attended one in weeks now!(maybe here lies the point!)
I read a book on dream analysis which vividly states that dreams are the manifestations of our repressed feelings and emotions..and like on most issues i clearly agree on this one too...but sometimes these so called manifestations are really revealing..and one tends to end up completely embarrassed of ones own thought process..take for instance once my friend was really upset over something and when asked repeatedly she dabbled the reason..she had a nightmare! now am sure u wud like to know what it was...hmmm..she said the whole night she was surrounded my snakes and she kept running to save herself and was sure she wasn't going to s successful in escaping the situation..and felt suffocated in the dream. and all the while she was conscious that she had been dreaming but just cud'n manage to snap open her eyes. and when she finally did the same she found herself sweating profusely as if it had been real!
Well my prior knowledge hinted that dreaming about snakes was reflective of an urge for sex and when i gave this explanation she was flabbergasted and assured that this was never an idea on her mind.
I just laughed over the issue and was assured that it wasn't just possible to interpret different dreams experienced by different people on the basis of a single yardstick!...now what attending a birthday bash of someone unknown would mean is yet to be inferred by me!

Flight

Will this confusion..this indecision..ever come to an end? or is this the way i am ?so much so that i can never change the way it is? what am i a slave to? Am i enslaved to my own thoughts? Well I dont know!..and i have almost given up. there isint a point in fighting. After all who am i fighting against? It is my own self.....and i have realised that one can bicker down all odds but not against ones own set frame of mind. I am irritated , suffocated...and bound. as if i am handcuffed and cannot break apart the chains i feel i am tied with..But when i give it a deep thought..when i try to fathom the reality i feel i am good , i am fine and its all so perfect! then why such inflexions? But then i am sure all of us have a small little bird hidden in the crevaces within us and it yearns for a flight to getaway from where it is. and each time we promise ourselves that we shall let go of it. but we never do that simply because we cant ever muster the courage for the same. So its quite understandable that if me or you think that way we aren't abnormal! its just that our limitations outdo our sense of self and we cannot help it. And so we pretend to become complacent and impress upon others that we sure are smug enough even though the little birdie still troubles us. We pacify it and it sleeps only after the reassurance of another pleasant dream. After all this dream is definitely better than anything else.

Aimless

Aimless
Sometimes i feel like an aimless wanderer..searching for something. but all i can do is to search..but searching what? if i knew that i wouldnt be aimless. Well thats so confusing. I feel its quite an enigma. some people are just so sure abt what they want . Their prerogatives are straight. Their methods and moves are planned. Their ways are practical and their thoughts are focussed...But there are some like me..hunters..hunting for objectives in life , for motives to self inspiration , continuously groping..almost in the dark. Well i often experience that the destination seems so clouded that i can't see it myself..or is there any destination at all? May be life is this constant travel...but that explanation doesn't pacify me or satiate me..it rather irks my being, it irritates me. disturbs me. but then i pretend. pretend that all is fine....and i look around.All is actually fine..perfect..the way it should have been..better than wat others might perceive it to be!..and this makes me feel i am just too fastidious, complaining, cribbing ( but do i actually ever complain?)and that i just dont know how to live..and maybe in my earnest urge to reach my destination i was missing out the fun of the travel!..i get confused..dont know wats right...and my peeved mind decides to take refuge in the pages of a good book...Then comes the catharasis...which brings me peace. It makes me feel that the whole idea of rummaging around is just about useless. let life guide itself...let me be a silent spectator!

New Discovery


I have lately felt that discovering ones own self is a very cumbersome task!!..and it isin't something one has to make a deliberate attempt for...It happens. as we move forward in life we learn that we were so wrong!leave aside wrong opinions about others , we can just be so erroneous about our very own selves!
But then what do we do??? Is brooding over it..and contemplating for days ..the right solution? Can we for the rest of our lives keep feeling bad..or for that matter keep feeling haplessly sorry for ourselves???

On my very own path to self discovey i noticed that there was so much more about me that was vieled..there was so much that had to be unravelled and noone but just me could take up the task of doing the same...but then my practical sense was encountered by another flabbergasting question!!
....."Was is Necessary?"
I mean my life is going smoothly..sailing like a ship with many sails..then why do i need this turbulence?
Is it not alright just the way it is..i mean i am happy..so why change at all?..but then i was reminded of an inspirational quote which reads..
" A ship is always safe at the shore..but that is not what it is meant for."
And i decided to move on.

Thanks for reading