OMG! its been almost an yr that i havent updated my blog..earlier i wudn update for a month and say this but its been really really long this time. and since i call this an all together new blog let me make it very different from what i have written before. Yeah but one thing will be common i had not much of a knowlege to display earlier too and neither do i have that today. so in a way i dont think i have grown intelligent over the past months. But just like the political scene of US has changed drasticallly over the last few months even my life has changed much more than my mere status:-)..But anyways as they say all change is inevitable and so was this one.

So with so many changes around i decided to change my style and presentation. Thought let me make it more colorful so that the color gets reflected in my life. ha ha..nw does that mean that my blog adds color to my life? well dont know but it will sure add colour to yours if you read me. hmmm...but however one thing is for sure i have become more useless and all that i just wrote very well proves that. But no worries i still see a positive streak..am warming up;-)

Chance or choice

I read somewhere that destiny is more a matter of chance than a matter of choice. At that time i believed it was complete crap. Something that was better said by people who wanted to live a life of convenience and the ones who were in the usual habit of blaming it on destiny.

But as years moved by and after i had made a few very significant decisions of my life(i dunno if 'I' made them...not sure) i realised that the above aphorism was true. Time had revealed to me that all that we do in life does become our destiny but it may not always be our choice. Or it may be that things fall into our way in such a way that it becomes our choice to choose what we choose!

Well that did make me envy those who proudly declared that they made their own destiny because if you would happen to ask them the details it would sound that they really are the ones who made their destiny.
Hmmm...but all said and done. Their things are for them and they have nothing to do with me as all of us have our own lives to live and our own circumstances to endear.And its also that all of us have to hold the responsibility of all that we do in life or even think of doing. At the end of the day what i do, whether by chance or by choice, is something that is meant to happen to me and so it happens. And when i think of all this the confusion between chance of choice becomes totally redundant!isin't it?

Colours

The fly on that glass was never so beautiful.The ant in the key hole had never seemed so interesting. The glass covered with vapors was never so tempting . The scratch on the cover of the book had nevr before been so inviting... Somethings going wrong or perhaps evrything is falling into place..or it isnt..may b not..yes..no can't say!

All the colours of life are right there. visible. vivid. distinct.attractive. But why cant we reach out. May b we try. try again, and again...yet again. but they disappear. right when we are just about to hold them and collect them in the shallow of our palms. we close our eyes...hoping that the color fizzles out. but it doesnt. What we see is a whole new spectrum. colors one over the other..hazy but colourful. We enjoy it. primarily because we want to. Its been too much.
we had been looking for them everywhere. Here and there but they were right there beneath our very own eyelids.!:-)

Lolita!!!

Nobokov's Lolita is a very widely read book..but when i was frittering through its pages i cudn really understand why??..Why did the book hav to be a reader's delight when i found each of its pages utterly repulsive...the way the entire character of Humbert Humbert has been brought about is ..abhorrent..thats whre i guess lies the writer's mettle!!

H H is a pedophile(in his forties) who claims to be in love with a 12 yr old Dolores Haze...the way he describes the child..imagines her..and writes about his sexual escapades with her is disturbing..to the extent that one feels like dashing the book straight into the bin....
He gets married to her mother only to do away with her later on and com in immediate contact with his so called nymphet!..he loves her exploits her..does evryhting to her....and still calls her his daughter...and the child has no where to go bcoz she has no other guardians...until she gets rid of the pervert...only to find a man closer to her age and live with him(she is 17 then)....

H H is a..sinner.. pedophile..a psychopath....maniac who commits crime...murders...and above all incest!!...his perception of evry little girl..as a sex object..a nymphet is hateful...n throughout the book he justifies himself by vocalizing his love for Lolita...n let me tell u none of his justifications are convincing...

Towards the end Lolita decides to live her life her own way..while HH realizes that throughout his life with Dolores he never cared about her feelings..he could never see the shadow of darkness in her eyes..he realises that he had robbed a 12 yr old of her childhood..and subjected her to irreparable damage..physically...psychologically...mentally..morally..evry possible way!

The subject matter taken up by the author is very sensitive. The book brings about an emotional turmoil in the reader...mayb the book is trying to sensitize us towards the existence of the domination of a bigger n more sinister social evil!

Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Its a master piece!!
Different readers sure have their own interpretation of any piece of literary wrk...here is my understanding of the finest tales evr written by Richard Bach
Envious of the eagle and the other highflying birds JL tries to ape them..The question..if they can than why cant he always irks his mind...The other gulls of his clan declare him an outcaste..an outlaw only because he tries to make an effort to do somthing that he is not meant to do..Seagulls are low flying..even an effort from them to do somthing that they are not naturally mean t to do is considered outrageous.. The end ..the innocent JL is left all alone among his people. He decides to abandon them and move to an isolated place where he can practice away from the prying eyes of his peers.

The book is about his struggle ..about his bending the rules...about thinking, perceiving, dreaming and doing somthing that no one wanted..rather tolerated him to do. He dedicates his entire life..becomes old only to teach somany other young gulls the art of flying high!!

The book is pure inspiration...which made me speechless at the realization of how our lives have blended them selves so well with the society and its norms that we hav lost ourselves..forgotten our existence .....to become what we are and what the society thinks that we are supposed to be.

I can't please everyone!

Sometimes i feel that the only attempt to please anyone is an act as foolish as it can be. For how long and to what extent can we fore go our happiness for pleasing others? I don't say that one should become selfish but always listening to what others feel and think is right for you , is a sure shot formula for failure.
I am really not bothered if any reader doesn't agree with me. of course most people feel that one should listen and pay heed to what others have to say coz after all we live in a society where its very important to follow the rule of coexistence. Alright then good for you. Keep listening to the world and the world will put all hands together to ruin you and shatter your very existence. Listen to others but follow your mind and heart. Its always so very important to not to let go of your individuality. It is so very essential to be happy and take responsibility for ones actions and decisions and even of ones own failures. You may end up being wrong once but believe me we all learn from our errors and its certain that sooner or later we will get what we want, hope for or desire to get. Others have no idea what goes inside us. No one can know, no matter how much one claims to know coz its something even we need time to figure out. In our attempt to please the world we are just neglecting our own selves .even if it brings us happiness for a while we will land up becoming the dupe of every nonentity in our lives. if u still disagree then just ponder over every action u did in an attempt to please anyone. Cmon do it just now and u will find the answer.

Dont need a title!

Its been so long i neglected my blog. Infact i neglected myself all this while. Just thought before i am deprived of my blogspace on account of not using it its better i write something. Something thats breaks my indolence. Something that wakes me up from my slumber. Something that shows me a direction. Something that navigates my way through the present situation and testifies that there is some pleasentness about life. Thought i should scribble something..what if it carries no meaning...what s the big deal if people find it poppycock..whatif noone bothers to read..no matter what!.atleast the words would be mine. Thats something no one can deprive me of!
Writing always brings so much relief.. I dont care even if its egregious. Just dragging a few expressions out from the canopy of abstraction gives a sense of satisfaction that i exist. That there within me lies a being who lives. Who thinks. who feels. who is happy when others are happy. who feels guilty at smiling when some ones in dolour.who has this urge of doing some little thing to light up someones life. who feels that life has no meaning if its for our selves.
Writing is also a means of realising oneself. Its meditation, introspection, insight..its evryhting..everything one needs to find out. ..to discover. And in the process i find my self..if not today..mayb tmmrw!